a step behind all day......

I honestly don't know what happened today. The day was a blur...I turned my alarm off and leapt from bed at 7:15...just 15 minutes before V woke up. It was kind of nice having Marty take the pooch out and just lazily giving her her bottle in my robe. She is angelic in the morning...well, all the time really.

The storms last night were unbelievably loud, crashing and bright. She did not stir. The hail slammed against her bedroom window, she did not stir. She slept from 8 until 7:30, as usual, and the was ready for her nap at 10 .....and slept for two hours, which she doesn't do.

We shot on over to Target', where she babbled and yelled in her "look at me" voice...so funny. She looked so cute...everyone smiled. One little pig tail today.

As we got close to dinner time, another thing from the past I do not understand...talk about that later.... Not only was Vivi tired and wanting attention, but the spoiled yorkie I have was also wanting major attention. Vivi has a habit of yelling(well, kind of screaming) and then looking at you and hysterically laughing when she is ready to eat...and the dog barks when he is ready to eat....and my husband was on the computer oblivious, all hell was breaking loose although no one was upset...it was just very very noisy. Noise is not my favorite thing but everytime she looked at me I laughed too and then I was yelling for the dog to stop barking and Vivi was laughing at that. It was crazy, and not the peaceful dinner time I envisioned at all.

We had the organic free range chicken, butternut squash,asparagas tips and mangoes for the baby. Organic grass fed hamburgers for us with asparagus and sauted potatoes and brussel sprouts. It was such a healthy good meal but the atmosphere was just awful and the kitchen looked like the inside of a front loader washing machine, while running.

I won't go into the rest of the night...it was more peaceful and V was adorable, but I spent an hour cleaning up after the hour I spent reading, bottle feeding and playing quietly with her before she easily went to sleep at 8. You lay this child down turn off all the lights, put on the sound machine(which in my case is an almost station on FM radio....zzzzzzzzzz), say night night honey, kiss, shut the door, and she goes to sleep. It's amazing.

Now, what I do not understand, at all, and I realized it at dinner time, is: How did I do all of this by myself, with two children and have dinner on the table every night, frequent company because my husband was in the Air Force and invited guys who had no family around for dinner....and then after the kids were in bed I always looked good for the rest of the evening with my husband. How did I do that?? Maybe it was an illusion.